My Own Star

There is a sense of calm today that I have rarely felt. A kind of ‘rightness of being’ that has settled over me. A hush.

I’m basking in it.

Rarely have I ever made a choice for myself and then remained in the choice. I tend to flail wildly out of the choice as soon as the associated pain hits.

Not this time. This time, the pain arises, and I tend it *without* the flailing.

There is a lot of self-empathy going on over here in my little nest. A lot of gorgeous self-talk along the lines of “Hey, lovely girl. You’ve got this.”

Ducks are lined up in a row work-wise, and I feel like I’m looking at a buffet of things I might choose to do. All of them worthy. All of them moving me in the direction of my prayers.

It’s a good morning. I wanted to notice.

***

I ran out of coffee yesterday, and by the time I noticed, the grocery delivery service had no slots available until later this afternoon, so I’m drinking instant. A friend posted his recipe for ‘poor man’s cafe au lait’, and though I didn’t have milk – just cream – it worked just fine. Enough cream cut with a bit of water to make a cup of coffee. Add instant + sugar. Heat. Voila. Good stuff. Not my usual pressed rocket fuel, but good enough to get my butt in gear.

***

One day at a time, I will find myself orbiting my own star unshakably.